Polaroid’s Early April Fool’s Day Joke

(Edited to add… The following is simply an opinion piece on my own part and behalf. I am not, nor have I ever been affiliated in any way with The Impossible Project, or with Polaroid in any of its forms or incarnations. I am a consumer of both company’s products, but that is the extent of my relationship with either them. …end edit)

Funny, funny Polaroid Corporation.  Lady Gaga as your new Creative Director.  Let’s see, she’s a photographer?  Nope.  She’s a designer?  Nein.  She’s a visual artist?  Huh uh.  So what is she?  She’s hot stuff, she makes the entertainment news.  She’s today, she’s the now thing, she’s not Brittney Spears.  In short, she’s a fad.

Come on Polaroid.  What the devil are you thinking?

Some background would be in order here, but I probably know less about Lada Gaga than any other human being.  My knowledge of her comes from her Wikipedia page, and the only experience I’ve had with her music is Eric Cartman performing M-m-m-my P-p-p-poker Face on South Park.  That’s close enough for me.

Musicians are artists, and judging from her record sales it sounds like she might very well have some talent.  She’s definitely not my style of music so I’ve not bothered to seek her out.  She’s the hot thing at the moment, but she’ll be a “where-are-they-now” subject soon enough.  I’ve seen her on the news pages with her outlandish get-ups and wild appearances.  When I see a musician looking like that, I immediately come to the conclusion that they didn’t get where they are by talent alone.  No sir, they needed a gimmick, and boy what a gimmick she is.

Which b-b-b-brings us to P-p-p-polaroid.  It wasn’t that long ago Polaroid was singing a blues tune.  The undisputed pioneer of instant photography built on the genius of Edwin Land was on hard times.  They were an analog company in a digital world and they saw the images developing before their eyes as if by magic.

Polaroid had participated in the digital camera market but with little success.  As photography moved further from film to digital, times were harder for Polaroid and they finally filed Chapter 11 bankruptcy in 2001.  Fast-forward several more years (the boring business details can be found easily enough) to more recent years where Polaroid has decided to get out of film and into digital.  With this new business vision, all those pesky factories and that old messy mechanical equipment used to make the film were just not a part of the future.  Much to the chagrin of Polaroid lovers everywhere, they began to shut down factories and scrap equipment.  As of late 2009 Polaroid is out of the film business.  Fortunately for those of us that love these cameras Fuji Film got into the business and still make the peel-apart films.  Even more fortunate for us is a man named Florian Kaps who still had a vision and enough testicular fortitude to see it through.  Partnering with the former head of film production for the factory in Enschede, Netherlands, he was able to put together a plan in conjunction with Ilford Photo to re-initiate integral film (the kind you could shake but it wouldn’t really develop faster) production in 2010.  The new effort goes by the name The Impossible Project and they are the savior of Polaroid lovers world-wide.

So now to Polaroid’s big announcement from the 2010 CES show… They will be teaming with Lady Gaga as Creative Director for a special line of products.  In other words, they’re going to get right back in to the market they just got out of and think they can do it successfully because they’ve got a fad on board.  Here’s a little of a CNBC report with an interview with Miss Gaga.  Forgive me for my lack of hip trendiness, but I really don’t think she makes much sense here.  I’m not even really sure she knows anything about analog vs. digital photography, but I guess that’s not much the point now, is it?

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So where’s my beef?  I’ve done a little Googlizing of the topic and found quite a few people that think it’s wonderful and that anything that helps Polaroid helps photography, and isn’t it wonderful, and blah, blah, blah.

So really, what’s wrong here?  Alright here’s my analysis.  You can pick me apart in the comments if you like.

Polaroid bailed and left a lot of photographers out in the cold with no hopes of film.  Some professionals still use the instant stuff for different purposes ranging from proofing to fine art.  Plenty of hacks like myself just love the medium and marvel at the possibilities that exist all without the need of Photoshop.

Fuji has been taking care of us.  The new cameras that Gaga with her years of engineering, marketing, and manufacturing experience will help develop aren’t going to use the peel-apart films, and besides, Fuji is big enough to take care of itself.  Thank you Fuji, and please keep cranking out the good stuff.  If you ever see Polaroid coming up the walk with something that looks like a cross between a woman and a peacock, lock the doors.

Over to The Impossible Project.  This was a ballsy move by a few very dedicated visionaries, and now Polaroid sees an opportunity to jump in and capitalize.  They’ve worked with The Impossible Project to help the film come back to the light of day, and I’m sure they’re appreciated for that, but now they’ve gone and done something a little too bold.

The Polaroid camera is getting ready to be re-released as a kitschy fad item.  Maybe Polaroid doesn’t see it as that, but with Gaga as their new highly made-up face, that’s exactly what’s going to happen.  Since The Impossible Project is going to be making the films, doesn’t that benefit them?  It definitely will short-term, but I’m afraid the long-term effects will be problematic.

Problem #1: Polaroid isn’t going to be making the film.  They will be making the cameras.  Polaroid doesn’t seem to be going out of their way to make sure people understand that.  The web is all abuzz with “Polaroid is back!!!”  The Impossible Project is the key to this whole thing, and when partners don’t take care of each other, bad things ultimately result.

Problem #2: Every teeny-bopper Gaga wanabee is going to want one of these cameras.  The cameras are no good without the film.  Lots of cameras means lots of film.  Lots of film means big production increases, more equipment, more personnel, more everything.  If you’ve ever been around manufacturing you know what I’m talking about.  It’s hard.  Really hard.  It’s going to be even harder when all these Lil’ Gagas get bored of the fad, or figure out that at about $1.00 – $1.50 per shutter push, this instant stuff is kind of pricey.  And just wait until their friends want the photos on MySpace.  There’s no USB jack on a Polaroid photo.

Sudden increases in production followed by sudden decreases in demand can be the death or at least tremendous hardship for a manufacturing company.  I’ve seen it.  It’s not pretty.

I think Polaroid is really stepping in it and I sincerely hope it doesn’t cause The Impossible Project irreparable damage.  I wish them the best, regardless what fate befalls Polaroid in this deal.  Two things I know: 1) I will continue buying Impossible Project films, and 2) I will still not own any music from Polaroid Corporation Creative Director Gaga.

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